Saturday, 7 December 2013

My ME Backstory

I think maybe my whole ME mess can be traced back to one severe virus I got in July 2011. Or maybe it was one of the 4 viral infections that followed.  Whatever started it, a routine operation in March 2012 changed everything.

Prior to ME

I enjoyed a physically active life.  We are lucky to live on a small-holding and keep our own ponies.  I rode most weekends with my daughters.  We also grew a load of our own fruit and vegetables and preserved them by bottling, drying or freezing the produce.  I had a busy teaching job in college and I was also learning how to train my terrier to do agility.  

Now that I have ME

I am unable to ride, or to teach.  The polytunnel stands empty and the garden is overgrown.  I have had to reinvent myself and revisit the whole concept of  "who I am"!

However, I can still make moments to do things that I love.  I use a scooter to walk the dogs for example, and doing this has allowed me to attempt to compete in agility competitions. I also enjoy sewing and making things.  (And have blogs for both of these interests.)  I am still me - just channeled in a different direction.

Explaining ME

Explaining ME is not straight forward.  Sometimes I don't really think I understand my limitations myself!   You see, some days I feel I can do much more than on others.  Yet, DOING that extra stuff, is not a good thing!

Most activities I do, now carry some sort of payback.  If I'm lucky, this just means resting up for a few days to get back to my current normal.  If I am less lucky, then my "normal" gets reduced.  This has happened a few times, so I must now be extra cautious.

However I AM still me, and I don't want the illness ME to be given as the reason that I have to do things differently.  So, if we're out together, let's just pretend that I use a scooter because I love doing so, or that you're dropping me to the door of the cafe so I can grab a table!  And if I have to go home early, just accept whatever transparent excuse I give you, rather than point out that I might be tiring!

This way, I can pretend that I am still myself, and that ME is not me!

And that is my little ramble for today......

Edit to add:  

I wrote about ME and how it affects me, on my sewing blog for ME Awareness Week in May 2013.  You can read that piece here: So How does ME affect me?

And for ME Awareness Day 2014 I wrote another post on my Agility blog: Why do I use Wheels?

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